This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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