An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
