i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
