eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
