I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
