toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
In America we eat man semen.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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