my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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