if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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