Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Boobs are out for the taking
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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