i don't like sucking hair
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
