I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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