I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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