where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
