No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
