Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
