this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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