I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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