You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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