how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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