She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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