she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
