Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
