He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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