would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
