After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she looked like the before picture.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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