I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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