we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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