Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
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