you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize