No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
