Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
