We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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