bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
