like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
