I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize