do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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