Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize