I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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