Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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