imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
