im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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