Moan for me like Helen Keller
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He? As in you personified your dick?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
