I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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