I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Send help, water and tortillas.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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