I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
