just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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