alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
