Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
