We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
