you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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