i don't plan on having that self control this summer
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
