My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
