Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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