Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We don't watch enough power rangers
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
