i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
