tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
