You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
