Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
