My pussy is not your playground.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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