Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
