you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
