they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
