He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
