I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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