hotel room ftw
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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